It was after realizing I had been taken advantage of by a level II sex offender that I knew I needed help. I couldn’t understand how I wound up in this situation. Not only had I found myself in another abusive relationship, but looking back on the things this man did to me and realizing they were all grooming tactics (and sexual assault in hindsight), was the final straw that broke me. I felt completely worthless, used, like a washed up piece of garbage.  I was in college at the time working towards my associates in science and license to become an Occupational Therapist. The day before I took my exam to get my license, I had found out about Steve’s criminal record. He had served in prison for 2 years for molesting his daughter, who was my age. Miraculously, I passed my exam by a mere 4 points, obtaining my license to practice Occupational Therapy. I managed to stay afloat amidst my "breakdown", receiving my first job at a Sensory Integration Clinic where I continued to learn more about nervous system regulation and sensory integration theory (coined by Jean Ayres, PhD, OTR). I worked with children varying from Autsim, ADHD, Sensory Processing Disorder, neurological disorders, and trauma. During that time, I had also started therapy. EMDR therapy to be exact (founded by Francine Shapiro, PhD, and further researched by Dr. Bessel Vanderkolk, author of "The Body Keeps the Score"). This is where I really started to put the pieces of the puzzle together and began answering the questions I had, such as how  these patterns kept persisting in my life, and how on earth I could find myself in a situation with a predator. Essentially, throughout my childhood and teen years, I experienced a boat load of mental, emotional, and verbal abuse. I received messages that led me to believe that I was never good enough, that I had to play small in order to stay safe, and that my voice or my needs didn't matter. So naturally, I found myself playing out this story in my relationships. All of this subconscious conditioning led me to unconsciously attracting these experiences in my life where I received false love, security, and validation. I was attracted to people that felt like "home", which I learned is what we all do until we bring the unconscious to light, and work towards healing the relationship with ourselves. Once I began to recognize that this unconscious programming and conditioning were the reasons why I found myself time and time again in these situations, I realized I had major unlearning to do. Throughout the last 5 years, I have worked diligently and consistently with therapists and coaches alike to do just that- unlearn these patterns of behavior, and re-learn how to heal my past, integrate the hard lessons that I needed to learn, to move through my emotions instead of running away from them (smoking, drinking, obsessive tendencies), and re-write the narrative of my life. I read countless self-help books, watched all the ted-talks, listened to the podcasts, and found hope in other people's stories both personally and globally. Fast forward to where I am now, and I can truly say I have never been happier. I have a whole new relationship with myself, have practices in my life that help me to routinely check-in with myself and honor my needs, and have developed a love for play and the things I used to love to do as a kid, which is anything art related and being outside-especially in the woods. I have gained a large repertoire of tools, skills, knowledge, and strategies through my experience in both Occupational Therapy, as well as my time in therapy and my own personal pursuit of coming back home to myself. I decided I wanted to help people in the ways I was able to help myself, and so I enrolled in the Next Level Life Coach Training program, founded by Caitlin Winkley, and am certified as of 2023 to practice Life Coaching in addition to my work with kids. Which leads me here, to you reading this. Hi. I hope you know how brave you are. How strong you are. That it does get better, not merely with time but with complete and total raw honesty with yourself. Through going inward. Through doing the "messy" work. And with that being said, I would be honored to support you on your healing journey. Because I've been there, too.